Joel M Bradshaw

29Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.–Proverbs 14

Like many proverbs, here there is one of those playground things I grew up calling a “teeter-totter”. One one side is slowness to anger with his friend understanding. On the other side is a hasty temper and his partner folly.

My kids like teeter totters. When they try to ride, I have to help the younger one, because she weighs less. If there is no balance of weight, then their ride is not fun.

The one who struggles with this proverb has no balance. What I’ve learned is that anger is rarely helpful to any situation. Here are the big three reasons why.

1. SELFISHNESS. Anger is selfish. It is self-centered. It worships the idol of your feelings. I am most important and so I must proclaim it by giving an outward display of my inward. Jesus said to deny yourself, not exalt yourself.

2. REACTIONARY. This proverb deals with speed. A person can react and still not be reactionary. If you are hasty with your anger, it has become a reputation. The ‘he has a short fuse’ thing. If you are reactionary, your chances of sinning in those moments are high, for they do not have self-control.

3. HARMFUL. Literally every time I get angry in my house, I take it too far and say something sarcastic or have an attitude that doesn’t honor my wife or doesn’t provide a good example for my kids. The end of my anger doesn’t lead to me feeling better about myself, but worse. It leads to me asking forgiveness.

The beauty of the teeter totter is that you are up and then you are down. Your journey with anger may be like that. Focus on being a listener. Listeners are not selfish. When you want to react, instead reflect. The proverb speaks of understanding. So seek to understand before you seek to be understood. Anger seeks to be understood. When you have harmed, humble yourself.

Now, you might read this and think of a few opportunities where you feel right being angry. This world is full of injustice and hatred. In those moments, I urge you to revisit my three characteristics. It is certainly possible to be right about something, but be wrong about how you go about responding.–JMB