Joel M Bradshaw

13Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. 14When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.–Matthew 14

John the Baptist had just been executed in prison. And Jesus chose to get away by himself. We miss it in the English, but Matthew was clear in the Greek. Jesus went out to the eremo, to the wilderness. This was the place where John famously preached and the same word is used to describe that of John in Matthew 3. We picture Jesus here going out to John’s territory to remember his cousin.

Anyone who has taken a psychology class would immediately say that Jesus got away to practice some self-care. I personally am not against self-care, but I think biblically there should be boundaries.

1. The follower of Jesus is commanded to be a denier of self, not a pursuer of self. Will my self-care lead to an unbiblical attitude like selfishness? Self-care in selfish hands is the breeding ground for undisciplined excuse making and rationalizations.
2. Self-care should be done with the perspective of being a steward of the self that has been entrusted to you by God. Galatians 2:20 is a good boundary here. This is not my life, but Christ lives in me. My focus is to trust his care rather than prioritizing other pursuits.
3. Jesus prioritized compassion for others here when he clearly wanted to just be by himself. Self-care would pursue selfishness here. I just need to get away for a bit, everyone. Come back later. Jesus focused on others in his grief. Jesus cared for the needs of others in his time of loss. Jesus prioritized compassion rather than his own perceived needs. I get annoyed with my family is too loud in the house before I have my cup of coffee in the morning.
4. Self-care should not be pursued long term or by exclusively by yourself away from community. A griever needs to be in a Griefshare support group and not by themselves in the wilderness! Let me illustrate.

My most famous season of self-care was after my first child died. On a personal level, I had pursued a great season of discipline and had lost almost 100 pounds. After Esther’s burial I remember the excuses pouring in to my heart. I didn’t get away to the wilderness, but I used food again as an escape. I justified it by saying I was running to a bag of chips vs to a bottle of alcohol. The people in my life were gentle with me and didn’t confront me on things. I gained back 70 of those 100 pounds. What I told myself I needed was actually worse for my depression and for my overall health. My self-care was really just selfishness. True care of self would have pursued accountability and further fitness diligence in a time of weakness. Having the attitude and mindset of Christ is always better, and especially here.–JMB