Joel M Bradshaw

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.–1 Corinthians 7 (with emphasis)

I recently had the opportunity to offer Biblical counsel separately to two young single men in their 20s. And each is struggling with the pressures of singleness. And in my opinion the greatest struggle is with waiting. This shows up with impatience as if will I ever date someone and get married? This also shows up with the struggle with lust and addictions can form during these years.

One of the two men simply asked me what counsel I would give to younger me in this area. And today’s verses came to my mind. I told one man first and then the other man later a version of learning to invest when you are unmarried. Let’s work backwards on this one. I shared with the men that as a husband my daily attitude is directed by Ephesians 5:25. To the women reading today’s blog, you can do this exercise with verse 22

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25)

What would I have directed younger single me? To invest. God is expecting the Christian husband to love his wife sacrificially. That love shows up in selflessness, sacrifice, and service. So as a single man can you start making investments in this area? Can you learn to practice self-denial when your desire should be only to please God with your life? What would start and what would stop about your journey?

Both of these men want to one day have a wife, but then their duties will be also to their wives and not just to God. So can they invest in self-denial and discipline now in a way that will pay off later as husbands?

Ladies your verse commands you to submit to the Lord. So can you in your single years invest in submission to God? Can your attitude focus on trust and in God and self-denial in your single years? That investment in yourself will one day produce attitudes expected by God for Christian wives. Right now your duties and desires are to be for God, but when married also to your husband.

This time of waiting is either going to be one of excuses for the unmarried person or one of intentional investing for a biblical future. To the married reading this, how are you doing with those Ephesians verses? What attitude changes do you need to make in your marriages? How can you be investing?–JMB