Joel M Bradshaw

10For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.–2 Corinthians 7

Paul had written the Corinthian Christians a previous letter that included pastoral admonishment and much correction. And he had just received word from Titus that the letter was received as intended. The church was grieving and humbled from the rebuke. They were earnest and afraid and wanting to repent from the evil ways they had slipped into.

And that was Paul’s point. There is one type of grief that just makes you focus on yourself. It keeps you mired in your situation and drowning in your feelings. For the anxious, the fear is at top level. For the depressed, the story you are telling is swamping you.

Worldly grief is something that only pulls your down deeper into the swamp. It has no perspective or hope. Your situation stinks and there is nothing you can do about it. You lost a loved one and you are stuck. You got divorced and begin to be bitter towards everyone. Your unemployment or infertility has you mired in jealousy and envy. You are locked in your grief, but it just keeps you focused on you.

One night of a recent vacation, I was tempted to go there. It was a 100 degree day in Florida. I had walked all over a theme park with my family. My kids had a rough day with their emotions. As I lay in bed that night, my mind began to ponder if the vacation was worth it, if I was a good parent, if we should just go home. I couldn’t even make a day at the ‘most magical place on earth’ be a completely happy one. I was grieving all the expectations that had not come true. I was stuck. My depression was in high gear. Anxiety and shame stood at the ready.

It was a worldly grief, because it was focused on me and the stories I told myself. There was no hope. There was no relief. I am thankful for my wife who listened to my venting. I am thankful for God who graciously allowed me to reset. Things would be ok. It was a great vacation, even if one night had me stuck in the quicksand of myself.

Whereas a godly grief focuses on Jesus. It is how the Holy Spirit works through a person’s conscience to remind them of their sinful choices and their need to repent. To turn from themselves and to turn to God. That was part of my reset as I lay in bed after my hard day. I turned from myself and my stories and remembered God’s faithfulness. I gave him my selfishness and prayed for a different perspective. So I guess that horrible night had some godly grief, too.

You may grieve all the losses mentioned above, but focus on Jesus as you do so. Therefore, you trust that God will provide another job or that your deceased loved one is with Jesus now. Your grief leads you to hope rather than to sink deeper within.

Like every Christian, I have at one time or another been faced with my sin and selfishness. Stuck on the “Joel” path and longing for something else. Godly grief is full of hope, because it leads to repentance and turning to Jesus, the only hope you could have. That repentance leads to salvation. It is how in the famous sermon on the mount, Jesus could utter these words…

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

You may be stuck in your sin and God has given you grief to lead you to repentance. You may be selfishly stuck like I was one night this week, and needing a reset. Pay attention to your grief. It has a purpose. Godly grief leads to repentance, which you will never regret. Worldly grief leads you to focus on your regrets, which eventually feels like death.–JMB