Joel M Bradshaw

2Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.–Proverbs 27

I co-lead a Griefshare support group at my church. And we have a basic principle: DON’T SHARE ANYONE ELSE’S GRIEF STORY. Let that person share their own story if they want to. You are encouraged to share your own story. So think about the stories you tell others. What do they communicate?

1. INSIDE FLOWS TO OUTSIDE. The stores you tell others most likely are the ones you are already telling yourself. If your self talk has a regular diet of “God is so faithful to me. I will trust Him today” then you will naturally tell your story that way. When I hear your story I will recognize the good depression work you are doing in your self-talk.
2. DON’T BE THE HERO. I was listening to someone’s story awhile back and they kept saying, “I just learned to be so strong through all of this. I am so strong now.” I remember wanting to tell them that they had indeed been through so much and that I could see God working through their situation. The problem is that I didn’t get the chance to tell them that because they were too busy being the hero of their story. If a person tells me that they are so strong I believe it less than if they don’t.
3. INSTEAD TELL ABOUT OTHERS. My wife and I have had to bury three of our five children and have seen God’s profound faithfulness through that journey together. When I share our grief story I am quick to point out to others that my wife is my hero and I am so grateful for her. I regularly highlight her faithfulness and strength as a wife and mother. My wife usually responds with “Thank you. I don’t feel that strong.” I even had a dear friend come up to me the other day and say “Joel you are so strong. You’ve been through so much.” I remember feeling a little uncomfortable receiving those kind words because I didn’t want to be the hero of my story and when I do I inwardly tell the story of God’s faithfulness. God is the greatest ‘other’ to tell others about.

It’s far better to let another praise you than you praising yourself. I grow tired when a speaker makes themselves the hero of every illustration they share. I don’t want to hear those stories. So therefore I need to not be the hero of my own stories. So how do you tell your stories?–JMB