Joel M Bradshaw

25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.–Ephesians 5

I journey with many husbands. And each one of them is challenged to memorize Ephesians 5:25 and have it ready to quote at a moment’s notice. Every husband needs a trusted friend to regularly hold him accountable to living this verse in his marriage. I have an older man whom I trust who keeps me accountable in this area and I am blessed for it.

A husband’s love from Ephesians 5 expresses 4 S-WORDS:

1. SELFLESS
2. SACRIFICIAL
3. SERVANT
4. SHEPHERD

Jesus commanded self-denial of all His followers (Mark 8:34).

Jesus literally sacrificed Himself on the cross (Hebrews 10:10).

Jesus was the model of servant leadership (John 13:5).

Many wives would be happy if their husbands modeled 1-3, but here in Ephesians 5, the love of Jesus has a goal. Jesus shepherded his church as part of that goal. Look for a husband who is also like a shepherd. Willing to have difficult conversations. Lovingly confronting. Caring about your spiritual walk. Leading you to church. The first three chapters of Revelation are Jesus shepherding churches.

A shepherd is not a doormat caving to a wife’s whims, but a selfish, sacrificial, servant who thus shepherds his wife to the glory of God. The husband’s love has an immediate goal and an ultimate goal. I daily have work to do in this area. It’s a good thing that I have my friend holding me accountable!–JMB