Joel M Bradshaw

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails….13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.–1 Corinthians 13

It’s the chapter of the Bible even the atheist has heard. It’s popular even at secular weddings. To illustrate this famous passage, I once wrote a poem called “Love & Not-Love.” I revisit it every time I come across 1 Corinthians 13. Which best describes you?

Love is patient. Not-Love is impatient. Like you need to go and she is just freshening up or he says there are two minutes left in the ballgame, but it’s a TV two minutes and not a stopwatch 2 minutes.

Love is kind. Not-Love is mean. Like those jeans don’t make you look fat, you’re face does.

Love does not envy. Not-Love always compares and contrasts with everyone else in your life. If only you were handy like him. If only you didn’t nag like her.

Love does not boast. Not-Love always boasts about that one good thing you did five years ago.

Love is not proud. Not-Love is so proud that you never think you do anything wrong. You therefore get offended when your partner finds anything at all wrong with you.

Love is not rude. Not-Love is rude. Like broadcasting your relationship troubles on social media so that all your friends would fight for you rude.

Love is not self-seeking. Not-Love seeks to only get for yourself. Like bringing home coffee and never asking if she also would like coffee.

Love is not easily angered. Not-Love always keeps the angry coals smoldering to be reignited at the slightest provocation.

Love keeps no account of wrongs. Not-love keeps a detailed record of wrongs. Like literally your accountant is shaking his head at your attention to detail.

Love takes no pleasure in evil. Not-Love enjoys when the other person does something wrong, because it means you feel better about the 42 things you did wrong.

Love rejoices in the truth. Not-love hides the truth. If only he can hide the truth of his addiction, there will be less fighting. If only she can hide her spending habit, she never has to face herself in the eyes of her partner.

Love bears all things. Not-love quickly turns into an angry bear if he doesn’t get his way.

Love believes all things. Not-love believes the things that make her look good or verify selfish feelings he has had about himself.

Love hopes all things. Not-love hopes to get away with all things.

Love endures all things. Not-love endures just as much as it confirms that you are indeed the martyr in the relationship. A saint!

Love never fails. Not-love is as dependable as the ignition of a reliable car in a scary movie.

I sadly have once lived like Not-Love. My Ephesians 5:25 goal each day is to love my wife sacrificially. I am grateful for her and for our marriage. She is a wonderful example of the Love side of the poem.–JMB