Joel M Bradshaw

6As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. 7And the women sang to one another as they celebrated,

“Saul has struck down his thousands,
and David his ten thousands.”

8And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?”9And Saul eyed David from that day on.

10The next day a harmful spirit from God rushed upon Saul, and he raved within his house while David was playing the lyre, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand. 11And Saul hurled the spear, for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David evaded him twice.–1 Samuel 18

Depression is maintained by stories. We tell ourselves stories about three people: others, God, and ourselves. The stories we maintain are either ones that we have started or that we maintain from others. I was bullied in my childhood with hurtful words. I carried those stories within me and let them define how I thought of myself. The stories of other people became my stories and therefore maintained my depression.

Saul heard the stories maintained by the people. They sang greater songs about David. I mean there is popularity and then there is ‘passing women on the street start singing songs about you’ popularity! God had already rejected Saul, and so this disturbing spirit from God might just be a melancholy that other generations spoke about or depression in our day.

Saul had the big three. His story was that God was against him, the people loved David more, and so he had a right to be angry and throw spears. This was Saul’s inner depression war.

The only hope for the depressed one is to start maintaining different stories. I had to learn to find my value not in the opinion of others, but in God. I therefore maintained different stories. That self-talk changed my thinking, and that new thinking affected my emotions, etc. I directed my heart rather than followed it.

Saul seems to be a different category, for God was involved in some way with his depression. We like to think that Saul could have responded to this with selfless humility. He could have turned back to God in submission and prayer. But all of that is not so easy with depression.

Those stories also fuel excuses. And those excuses keep us on different paths. My depression fueled addictions and made weight loss very difficult. I gave myself all the excuses I needed to stay on my selfish path. I call this the Joel path versus the Jesus path.

Saul probably both loved and hated the “Saul” path he was on. Friends, your only hope in depression is to turn to God and believe the stories he maintains about you. Here are 10 Biblical ones.

1. God is with me. He will never leave me. (Hebrews 13:5)

2. God’s still working on me. (Philippians 1:6)

3  I am God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)

4  Stay humble before God. He will lift me up. (1 Peter 5:6)

5. God loves me. My church family loves me (1 John 4:10-11)

6. God has forgiven me (1 John 1:9)

7. God has plans for me (Jeremiah  29:11)

8. I live to glorify God (1 Corinthians 10:31)

9. God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7)

10. Deny myself, pick up my cross, follow Jesus. (Matthew 16:24)

      Remain in Jesus, seek to bear fruit  (John 15:4)

Thanks for reading!–JMB